2012年6月16日星期六

Five Rules Happy Couples Break

Five Rules Happy Couples Break

We've all heard them over and over again: those "pearls of wisdom"-drilled into us by our parents, well-meaning friends and stacks of advice books-on how to keep our relationships strong and happy. Well, don't be so quick to believe them. According to a recent survey, a whopping 86% of couples who are still crazy in love after 20, 30, 40 and 50-plus years together say they often break many of the so-called "rules" that happy couples are supposed to live by. Turns out, in fact, that many relationship "no-nos" can be surprisingly effective at keeping you and your sweetie super-close forever.

So, which rules should you feel free to go ahead and break?

* Breakable rule #1: You can't change each other, so don't even try.
* Why you should break it: It's true that people change because they want to-not because you want them to. And no one is saying you should force your mate to be someone he isn't-or vice versa. But when you care enough about each other and your relationship, you have to try and change the things you're not happy with. The good news is, most partners are open to change when you give them valid reasons to do so-and present your request in a positive way (no nagging allowed!).

* Breakable rule #2: If you can't say something nice coach outlet store online, don't say anything at all.
* Why you should break it: No matter how madly in love you are, if your significant other does something that makes you mad--say, he or she's always late--then it's best to express it. Otherwise, your anger will just fester. Of course, there's certainly nothing wrong with putting a positive spin on your beefs. So try first saying something nice (like "That's wonderful that your boss invited you out for a drink after work") coach outlet store online, then bringing up what's bothering you ("But next time, please call to tell me you'll be late so I can hold dinner"). That way, you don't sound accusing and he/she won't get defensive. Plus, you can deal with your conflict openly coach outlet store online, then let it go and move on.

* Breakable rule #3: Common interests are key to a strong relationship.
* Why you should break it: Maybe you became smitten with each other after discovering you both loved jazz or shared a passion for John Wayne movies. But, chances are, you've also tagged along to many a baseball game or dragged him on many a shopping spree where you were both bored to tears. Many couples fall for the myth that "we need to be just alike to be compatible," but in most instances, the opposite is true. Indeed, studies show that going your separate ways to pursue your individual interests can do wonders at refreshing and rejuvenating your relationship.

* Breakable rule #4: Sweeping conflict under the rug is destructive.
* Why you should break it: The happiest couples regularly disagree with each other. But what sets them apart is that they pick their battles carefully. If you fly off the handle over every little infraction (dishes in the sink, clothes on the floor), your partner will tune you out on the big stuff.

* Breakable rule #5: Happy couples have no secrets.
* Why you should break it: Of course you don't want to keep anything from your partner that could drive a wedge in your relationship. But she doesn't have to know all about your previous girlfriends, and he doesn't need to know that you saved your grocery coupon money and splurged on a designer purse. In fact, surveys show that more than 40% of men and 35% of women admitted that, yes, they keep some stuff to themselves-and all have still managed to live happily ever after!Related:

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